Basement Craig could only be described as a jovial person who lacked any motivation to make contributions in the adult world. Basement Craig’s lack of motivation coupled with some tough life breaks ultimately led him to live in our basement for a short period of time, hence the name Basement Craig. My father had a difficult time saying “No” to an old friend who needed support. Basement Craig’s occupancy seemed to cause some contention between my parents as he was an additional weight on the family. However, Basement Craig’s ability to babysit at any time appeared to create enough utility that he was not banished immediately. I did not share my parents’ disparaging perception of Basement Craig; rather I thought Basement Craig was wicked awesome. Basement Craig was able to teach me some valuable life lessons leveraging several television shows. For example, I learned about developing strategies from MTV’s The Challenge. I learned a deeper understanding of agility from American Ninja Warrior, love and heartbreak from Dawson’s Creek, and revenge well from Revenge.
The final life lesson, which will live with me forever, is that the key to being successful with the ladies is to be charming. “There is nothing more dangerous than a man with a charm,” Basement Craig stated. I was intrigued. I did not know what that meant but he had my attention. Basement Craig then shared some perspective: when you grow up you may not be the best looking, fittest, wealthiest or whatever the best thing at that time is; and even if you are, those variables can rise and fall over time. However, the ability to be charming is one constant that you can control to gain and maintain the attention of the person you are pursing and seeking to hold onto. I urged Basement Craig to share more. Basement Craig expounded further, “To be charming you need to take a distinct interest in what the other person is saying. Reply with witty complimentary responses that show you are listening but can add a bit of humor, ultimately showcasing that you are caring, funny and intelligent.” “Who doesn’t like a person that caringly listens, is funny, and intelligent? It’s the trifecta that will keep you in play no matter the landscape of others fighting for attention.” Basement Craig may not have financial wealth, but his wealth of applied knowledge was quite impressive.
The next evening we were eating dinner, and I was asked to share something I learned at school. Rather than provide something I learned from school I shared something I learned from Basement Craig. “Well, I learned from Basement Craig that to be successful with the ladies I need to be charming.” Both of my parents’ eyebrows rose in unison. “Do share more,” my mother requested. “Listen, be caring, funny, intelligent and a girl will fall in love with you,” I replied. My mother peered over to my father who mildly shrugged in an effort to convey it was not the worst advice he had ever heard. My mother then asked me to summon Basement Craig. In hindsight I probably should have given Basement Craig a courtesy heads-up he was about to walk into an ambush. As soon as Basement Craig entered the kitchen the questions came fast and furious. Surprisingly, Basement Craig felt natural in that setting. He looked like a seasoned veteran and must have received a hostile barrage his entire life, albeit through his own self-making. “We touched on a wide range of topics. I think it would be wise to look at the whole body of work before we castigate my contributions,” Basement Craig stated. I was in awe; no one I could recall previously had the wherewithal or the audacity to calmly defend their position when my parents were coming for their throat.
My father could see the conversation spiraling out of control. He loudly interjected and asked to not be interrupted. “Craig, we appreciate your contributions. However teaching a 5 year how to court a girl is not advisable; he is just a kid.” My father then asked Basement Craig to have a sidebar conversation in the living room.
Two weeks later Basement Craig announced he would be couch surfing at another residence and thanked our family for hosting him. I asked Basement Craig if would still come visit. “Of course, I will be around. I need a place to drink free beer and rag on your father to make sure his head doesn’t get to big; it’s part of my role as his spiritual leader,” Basement Craig replied. His comments were refreshing to hear, as I wanted to continue to pick his brain on topics my parents had a disinclination to discuss. I also welcomed all effort to keep my father in check. I gave him a hug and said my favorite line from the Lego Movie 2, “Game Recognizes Game.” Without missing a beat, he throws a Lego Movie 2 quote back at me, “Big Fan of This Guy.” It’s a wonderful feeling when a bestie just gets you. As Basement Craig was walking out the door with my Dad, I heard him ask my Dad, “Can I get a few bucks for bus fare?” To which my father replied, “I am literally driving you to your next place.” “So, is that a hard no, or you need to think about? I do not need an answer right now” Craig responded. He looked back and winked at me, then returned to pestering my farther, “What are your thoughts on a quick trip through Taco Bell drive-thru?” Basement Craig will forever be an exemplar in my eyes; minus the whole lack of financial freedom because I aiming for a big bankroll.